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I did something that I haven't done in years. I went to church.
I actually showered, dressed nicely, and found my way to St. Partick-St. Anthony church in downtown Hartford. When I was growing up, the prospect of going to Sunday mass was tedious and boring. But for a host of reasons, I was actually looking forward to it this time.
I did something that I haven't done in years. I went to church.
I actually showered, dressed nicely, and found my way to St. Partick-St. Anthony church in downtown Hartford. When I was growing up, the prospect of going to Sunday mass was tedious and boring. But for a host of reasons, I was actually looking forward to it this time.
If you're Catholic/Christian (as I am), you are probably aware that this time in the calendar is Lent (or, the 40 days before Easter, culminating with Holy Week). Technically it is the most important time on the calendar - despite the fact that Christmas is filled with cookies, presents, Santa, and...stuff like this.
Now, I'm not dissing Christmas, because it's the one time a year that people have to really spend time with their families (whether that's good, bad or neutral is up to you). But Lent, Easter and the like are, at least for Christians, a rebirth of sorts. Jesus was betrayed, crucified, buried, and rose from the dead miraculously. He was able to start over, so what's stopping us from at least trying to do the same?
This weekend, however, Father Steve mentioned something eerily familiar to not only our 20-something generation, but to the Baby Boomers - the generation who coddled and raised most of us.
"As Catholics we've been raised in this negative view of our faith," he said. "We keep forgetting the blessings God gives us, and instead we think, 'oh, well if I tell more than 6 lies, I'm going to hell.'"
And it makes sense, at least for our parents' generation. The Catholic Church was even more stodgy and rigid than it already is. Traditionalists who grew up in that time remember hearing about the differences between "venal" and "mortal" sins. Venal sins are somewhat minor - like forgetting to say your prayers every night or something. But a mortal sin? Forget it. If you skip mass one week, tell a white lie another week, and then steal a candy bar from the local drug store, you, my friend, are on an express elevator to H-E-double hockey sticks. And since our parents were listening to mass in Latin (this was before the Vatican II Conference), the chances of them actually building some sort of positive relationship with God was slim. A lot of people bought into it and accepted their faith, thanks to outside forces like the Vietnam War, gas prices and the Sexual Revolution (although I always thought it could have been the popularity of "Joanie Loves Chachi"). But the majority? They just couldn't connect, and they couldn't relate to any of it. So, they left.
So, us 20-somethings, the offspring of the original "lost" generation, are faced with the same challenges. It seems as though there is no gray area when it comes to spirituality - either you are a "holy roller" or you classify yourself as agnostic/atheist. Even if someone still identifies him or herself as a certain denomination, does it necessarily mean that he/she attends church? Is it possible to attend church on a semi-regular basis without being branded as an Evangelist? I suppose that's something our generation might have to define. Additionally (just like Father Steve said), it's important to think of spirituality as something "positive" - especially if you come from a traditional Judeo-Christian background. All my life, thanks to the Baby Boomer influences around me, I was told to ask God for forgiveness for everything that I may or may not have done. Forgot to clean your room? Better pray about it. Talked back to your parents? That'll cost you. Skipped a class or two? Time to go to confession. Now, I'm not sitting here saying that people shouldn't be accountable for their actions, but after a while, it does put an emphasis on the wrong things.
So here's the challenge to my fellow 20-somethings: gaining perspective is never a bad thing. If you choose to do it through religion (whether it be the one you were raised with or another, completely different one), that's good too. Then maybe we can fight this trend of religious negativity - or at least learn to believe in something outside ourselves.
Now, I'm not dissing Christmas, because it's the one time a year that people have to really spend time with their families (whether that's good, bad or neutral is up to you). But Lent, Easter and the like are, at least for Christians, a rebirth of sorts. Jesus was betrayed, crucified, buried, and rose from the dead miraculously. He was able to start over, so what's stopping us from at least trying to do the same?
This weekend, however, Father Steve mentioned something eerily familiar to not only our 20-something generation, but to the Baby Boomers - the generation who coddled and raised most of us.
"As Catholics we've been raised in this negative view of our faith," he said. "We keep forgetting the blessings God gives us, and instead we think, 'oh, well if I tell more than 6 lies, I'm going to hell.'"
And it makes sense, at least for our parents' generation. The Catholic Church was even more stodgy and rigid than it already is. Traditionalists who grew up in that time remember hearing about the differences between "venal" and "mortal" sins. Venal sins are somewhat minor - like forgetting to say your prayers every night or something. But a mortal sin? Forget it. If you skip mass one week, tell a white lie another week, and then steal a candy bar from the local drug store, you, my friend, are on an express elevator to H-E-double hockey sticks. And since our parents were listening to mass in Latin (this was before the Vatican II Conference), the chances of them actually building some sort of positive relationship with God was slim. A lot of people bought into it and accepted their faith, thanks to outside forces like the Vietnam War, gas prices and the Sexual Revolution (although I always thought it could have been the popularity of "Joanie Loves Chachi"). But the majority? They just couldn't connect, and they couldn't relate to any of it. So, they left.
So, us 20-somethings, the offspring of the original "lost" generation, are faced with the same challenges. It seems as though there is no gray area when it comes to spirituality - either you are a "holy roller" or you classify yourself as agnostic/atheist. Even if someone still identifies him or herself as a certain denomination, does it necessarily mean that he/she attends church? Is it possible to attend church on a semi-regular basis without being branded as an Evangelist? I suppose that's something our generation might have to define. Additionally (just like Father Steve said), it's important to think of spirituality as something "positive" - especially if you come from a traditional Judeo-Christian background. All my life, thanks to the Baby Boomer influences around me, I was told to ask God for forgiveness for everything that I may or may not have done. Forgot to clean your room? Better pray about it. Talked back to your parents? That'll cost you. Skipped a class or two? Time to go to confession. Now, I'm not sitting here saying that people shouldn't be accountable for their actions, but after a while, it does put an emphasis on the wrong things.
So here's the challenge to my fellow 20-somethings: gaining perspective is never a bad thing. If you choose to do it through religion (whether it be the one you were raised with or another, completely different one), that's good too. Then maybe we can fight this trend of religious negativity - or at least learn to believe in something outside ourselves.
3 comments:
Wow!
Thank you for an incredibly insightful post, Joy. You expressed beautifully some thoughts I've been having for some time now. Religion has been more and more polarized, to its detriment and those who profess to practice it.
Most of todays common churchgoers are holier-than-thou uppity pricks whose mindless rigidity and anti-intellectualism has imhibited progress for close to half a century. At the same time, there is an anti-religious undertone among those terming themselves "intellectual" that is equally vicious and close-minded. Neither one wants to concede the possibility of a "gray area" for your average person who doesn't want fanaticism, but just a source of passion and inspiration. That's where I find myself anymore. And I think it's a shame.
I want a faith that motivates me to be a better person, not onethat fills me with an irrational fear of hell; nor do I want to forego my faith because others of that faith have bastardized it into a bible-waving contest.
I'm glad you wrote this, Joy, I got a lot out of it :-)
Whenever I walked around my university's campus, I often saw sidewalk preachers who would yell and scream at students walking by, calling girl students "sluts" just by the clothes they wore. It may have been true (it may have not), but it painted Christianity in a strange and perverse shade. Who would want to identify themselves as a Christian when they see such extreme cases as these sidewalk preachers. Perhaps the shame, the scandals, the hostility has turned off an entire generation to faith.
Remember the 80's - everyone called it the "Me decade" because it was about big money, big hair and showing it off. Perhaps a desire for more wealth, power and money began even before we were born. We feel safe and secure.
Perhaps living in another country now has given me a new perspective on things, a clean slate if you will. Here I am vulnerable, out of my comfort zone, and I need support as much as possible. I find the hectic week days in school melt away when I'm in the church here. I think this was bound to happen - even before I left the US, I often cried during sermons, the ones that I visited - perhaps because they touched my heart so much. I know I have been aching for something.
Joy you know I am not Catholic, but I got a lot out of your writing! Thanks!
Looking forward to reading this blog and reflecting on what you say. Nice job, homeslice.
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