Remember how I said Baby Boomers were responsible for many of our current societal flaws? Well, that's mainly true...but much like the Twist, hippie twirls, acid trips, wife-swapping, and the Hustle, Baby Boomers can also inject a whole lotta fun into the world.
Case in point: parenting strategies. I'm sure previous generations had "kooky," "zany" or "off-the-wall" antics performed by adults, but only the Baby Boomers were able to take it into the mainstream. Stories about my grandmother were legendary, but stories about my mom's past, present and future? Let's just say I have enough material for an anthology.
There was a time in my angst-riddled teenage years where I found Mom's spontaneous singing and dancing...and Dad's oddball sayings and mannerisms embarrassing. But as I have meandered through my 20s, these moments remind me of a relatively happy childhood where I completely understand why I am the way that I am.
In honor of Father's Day, and of Baby Boomer parents everywhere, I give you John Piazza's Greatest Hits (or, the hits I can remember at least).
Potent Quotables:
"Joy, there's only one lesson you gotta remember. No one likes crazy people."
-circa 1999
"Listen. If it's not chocolate, it's not dessert. I'm not going to Pinkberry."
-circa 2009, after telling Dad Pinkberry didn't make a chocolate flavor
Dad: I don't understand Yanni's popularity.
Mom: Well I heard somewhere some fans of his like...thinks he has the power to heal. They listen to his music and are cured of diseases and stuff.
Dad: Oh, great. It's nice to know God has come back in the form of a bad piano player.
"Oooh. Flounder!"
-Repeatedly mimicking a kid in some Mrs. Dash commercial, circa 2002
Anecdotes:
Circa 1994: The Piazzas take a trip to California to visit the West Coast relatives. At San Francisco International Airport, Dad tries to find the rental car drop-off area. After driving once....twice...THREE TIMES around the ENTIRE TERMINAL, things get desperate:
Mom: John, we're miles from Hertz!
Dad: Shhhh hold on! I think I found it.
(sharp right turn)
Dad: Look! There's someone! I should tell him I'm a Preferred Customer because then we get the discount.
(speeds up to about 50 miles per hour, slows down within 5 feet of random airport worker - NOT Hertz worker - at a parking lot gate)
Mom: Is this Hertz?
Dad: Yes, Marilyn! One second.
(pulls over to random employee)
Dad: Excuse me? Excuse me? I have a car! I'M PREFERRED!
Circa January 1997: The Piazzas are on the USAir (or, "Useless Air") flight from LaGuardia Airport to Piedmont Triad International Airport. Upon boarding, Mom realizes the four of us aren't sitting together.
Mom: John, you didn't book these seats together?
Dad: (pause). No...
Mom: You booked last-minute, didn't you?
Dad: No...not really. I did this on purpose.
Mom: Oh, really? And why is that?
Dad: Well...this way....we all have an aisle seat. We'll all be more comfortable!
March 2005, on I-95 near Cape Canaveral, Florida
Me: Did we just pass another Denny's?
Dad: Yeah. We did! There's been a Denny's at every exit since Jacksonville.
Me: Wow.
Dad: Yeah. People here sure like their Denny's. Is it the sun? Or is it Florida?
June 2005 in Fort Lauderdale, Florida
(After the first tropical storm of the season. Dad knocks on the door to my apartment.)
Me: (opens door) Hey Dad!
Dad: (leaning on doorframe, drenched, with 30 MPH winds and rain behind him). I want you to remember this moment...and remember that I loved you enough to fly through a Monsoon to help you with the drive back home.
Circa 2009, at the Piazza Manhattan digs.
Mom (to me): Honey, do you want to see a movie tomorrow?
Me: Yeah! Maybe the new one with Robert DeNiro? A 7 o'clock show?
Mom: John, you wanna join us here?
Dad (staring at the TV): I have my show at 9 tomorrow. Gotta be home for Moonlight.
Circa 2009, at the Piazza Manhattan digs.
Mom (to me): Honey, do you want to see a movie tomorrow?
Me: Yeah! Maybe the new one with Robert DeNiro? A 7 o'clock show?
Mom: John, you wanna join us here?
Dad (staring at the TV): I have my show at 9 tomorrow. Gotta be home for Moonlight.
Circa 2010, at same apartment.
Dad: Joy! I wanna play you something.
Me: Yeah?
Dad (sits down at piano, plays lounge-ified version of "Take Five"): Pretty good, huh?
Me: Um, yeah! You're timing is a little off and too loungey..
Dad: What? I'm great! I'm getting better. I've really hit a breakthrough. I could take this on the road. "Traveling businessman!" (snaps fingers).
3 comments:
i love your dad. Tell him Happy Father's Day from me.
My personal favorite saying from your dad is something along the line of "Watch out, Joy, that job sounds hairy!"
LOL Margaret, I believe it was, "Joy...this job has a lotta hair on it." Re: the Thirteen Promo Producer gig. :) Thanks for the remembrance!!
Post a Comment