A Death in the Family, and Annoying Hipsters

They really, really annoyed me tonight.

On Tuesday evenings I get out of work ... *just* as some of the most annoying hipsters make their way to my Bedford L train stop. These are the super-loud, gray skinny-jean-clad, hammered-on-a-weeknight, beer-at-the-East-River-Boardwalk kind of hipsters. Many of them are from out of town, and the ones that aren't don't live in the neighborhood. Needless to say, it makes my walk home less than pleasant, especially since I am stone-cold sober and yearning for nothing but my couch.

Now, don't get me wrong, I've had my fair share of inebriation on a weeknight (I work in the news business, after all! Bar outings on off-hours are a rite of passage). But tonight...I just...wasn't in the mood.

This past week, I got one of those phone calls you *think* you can prepare for, but once it rolls around, you're never really ready for it. My grandfather - my mom's dad, who was my last surviving grandparent - died suddenly from a one-two punch of pneumonia and weak vascular system. He was the grandpa who was the World War Two hero, who won a Bronze Star, yet never talked about it. He was the grandpa who taught me the guitar and always put my first name in quotes on my birthday and Christmas cards. He was the guy who was a dapper dresser well into his 90s, and worked two jobs to provide for his family. Sadly, he was also the hard-headed Italian who didn't believe that women should get much of an education (with all of the great things about my grandfather that I remember fondly, it's important not to forget the flaws, either).

So, as I passed the skinny revelry of the hipster crowd, I wondered what Pasquale Guidice would think about all of this. He did, after all, grow up in my neighborhood, and still remembered all the distinctive landmarks nearly 100 years later. But a lot has changed in a century.

Father Cook, a family friend who delivered the sermon during my grandpa's funeral, was in awe of his service to his country at a young age, and proudly called him a member of the "Greatest Generation." Father Cook mentioned that my grandfather was relatively modest about his service, and spent his Postwar years working hard, preserving his integrity and realizing that he was a part of a larger community - the "greater good." Part of my impatience with the hipster crowd is just that - I'm not sure many of them would do what my grandfather's generation did. I'm not sure they'd voluntarily sign up for military service, as the world was crumbling around them. I doubt that many of them would be modest about what they *have* accomplished, and would keep their complaints about the hard times in perspective. But then again...would I? Do I? Is it a symptom of my generation? Do we *expect* too much? Do we take things for granted?

And, most importantly, do we forget that integrity and honesty are the two most important traits to uphold? Do we lose sight of the "greater good?"

In my more cynical moments, I tend to think so. I've met a handful people over the years, hipster and otherwise, who are shallow. Devoid of honor. Selfish. Manipulative. Hurtful. And yes, even amoral. I'm not perfect by any means, but there are a lot of marginal people out there in the world.

But, then again, there are those people who have hearts of gold. Ones who always check up on others. Ones who are always thinking about others. Ones who reached out to folks they didn't even know after Sandy. People who are just trying to work hard and provide for their families.

Will we ever be the next "Greatest Generation?" Honestly...probably not. But if we just stick to the important stuff, we might be a close second.

Rest peacefully and soundly, Poppi. And hipsters...just, walk a little faster, will ya?

Austerity Measures

"Money's a real pain in the ass." -David Nath, circa 2010

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I was pretty lucky to not have to worry about money growing up.  Even in college, when tuition was ridiculous and everyone was talking about work-study and FAFSA forms, I got off scott-free. I still feel a little embarrassed that it was relatively easy for me, and I remember silently telling some of my friends who asked me about how to fill out student loan forms that, "erm....I'm actually...not on financial aid."

Well, as many things do in life, it caught up to me.

When I moved to New York in 2008, I don't think I ever had a grasp of how expensive things can be. Especially in Manhattan, where the average rent is now hovering around 3,200 dollars per month. Only hedgefund managers or celebrities can afford certain neighborhoods in Tribeca these days. And the food? As great as it is, a lesser person would faint at the sight of a normal lunch bill in Midtown.

So, like many other New Yorkers, I learned my lesson and moved to an outer borough. I was done living in a shoebox and hyperventilating whenever the check came. I needed a sudden jolt of reality. And more space. Oh, yeah, and Dave. :)

But...I was still running into some major financial issues, and living essentially paycheck to paycheck. It seemed to me as if it happened "all of a sudden," but once I crunched the numbers, I realized just how lean my wallet had become. More embarrassingly, the reason my situation didn't seem as dire in Manhattan was because I was still charging many of my purchases on my parents' joint American Express card. Clothes, yoga classes, cabs and other "luxuries" went on it, and at the time I wasn't too ashamed about it. But eventually, in an attempt to legitimize myself as an actual, self-sufficient twenty-something, I let my card expire and have now been living completely unassisted for about a year and a half. All the same stuff, all on my own dime. Add in rent, plus evenings out, plus clothes, plus yoga and S Factor .. and something had to give.

Ok, ok, I know what you're thinking: "I totally don't feel sorry for you! You had it really great for such a long time and shouldn't be complaining! You're almost as bad as the rest of those privileged 20-somethings you criticize all the time!"

And you know what? You're absolutely right.

This is something that's been long overdue for me for a number of reasons: one, I'm not that organized, two, sometimes I deny the existence of my problems and think they'll just "go away" on their own, and three, I was educated badly with regards to finances.

Did anyone who wasn't an Economics or Finance major in college ever take an entry-level course that actually made sense? Of course not. Chances are, you took Macroeconomics and studied the supply and demand of some made-up widget company, then applied those principles to the GDP of Europe...or the US...or China .. or... whatever. There was no class on "how to balance your checkbook" or, "how you piss away money every month if you have credit card debt." Since my parents are also not the most organized people in the world (runs in the family...except for my brother, who's so organized he must be an adopted mutant), they never really taught me much about it until I opened up my own checking account at the West Hartford Bank of America in 2006. And even then, I'm sorry to say, I didn't know much about credit cards and debt. The only thing I knew was to keep my "credit score" low. But even that was an abstract hypothetical I pledged would never happen to me.

So now, with the help of two VERY organized people, I have this thing called a "budget." And, supposedly, if I stick to it, I can obliterate my credit card debt in several months. But I got to stick to it.

That's right, fellow 20-somethings. This is a really, really important point for all of us: we gotta stick to it. If we want to reach our 30s with any shred of integrity or self-control, in finances, careers, or just...life.. we can't give up or give in. If we keep at it, we'll be better equipped to handle the real big-ticket items, like marriage and kids and buying property and all that. Those privileged 20-somethings living on trust funds, rent-free in the same outer borough I call home? It'll catch up to them eventually. 

Just as long as I keep crunching the numbers, they should add up.